Peanut

Peanut

By: Tyler Ross

Let’s take a walk together 

instead of being on the screen.

Remember how much fun

we would have exploring everything.

Stomachs happily full of sushi,

hearts so warm with love.

A city stroll up into the Chalet.

a souvenir keeper view from above.

Tearing up together in many theaters,

some coffees to stay awake.

Late night McDonald’s nuggies runs

Uncontrollable laughter

after counting each fry we’d take.

Writing letters, poems 

and great gift giving extraordinaire‘s 

Swimming together in Mexico 

then both rocking beautiful curly hair.

Eggs, breakfast potatoes 

and avocado slices galore

Maybe we can get a waffle,

brioche French toast 

or hit up the neighborhood stores.

You put your arms around me,

I put my arms around you.

You say you love me,

I say I love you too.

Wake me up with your kisses,

cuddle for five more minutes, please.

Wake you up with kisses on the couch

let’s dream together 

after you’re done talking in your sleep.

Ice cream ventures, plant obsessions and vintage finds.

Max relax’n on beaches, Lourdes burritos

and La Banquise lines.

Lovely double dates with Sean & Les

family get togethers and more.

Hiking as much as possible

and always finding new places to explore. 

Leaving love notes behind,

dangling our feet over Echo Park Lake.

Slow dancing to “Blonde On Blonde,”

massagies to feel good and fix our aches. 

Facetiming for hours. 

Doing impressions and laughing til it hurts.

Being each other’s ultimate best friend.

Late nights at Aux Vivres for dessert. 

Smiling brightly across every table,

Hugging cows, loving animals 

and Gentle Barn feeding stables.

Açaí bowls at home or out and about

Wherever we go together 

is the greatest route.

Ugh, That Stabbing Pain

Ugh, That Stabbing Pain

by: Tyler Ross

So you said I love you to someone new.

And now the world just suddenly sped up

as my heart tries to stop 

and I immediately feel all shades of blue.

Colorless on the outside,

my saddened pigment comes through.

A flood of heat burns in my core

and empties my stomach,

there’s now vomit on the floor.

Broken to my knees,

heaving, it’s way too hot,

I need some breeze.

But now there’s too many locks on my door.

Stuck in between important life attachments

and suicide not wanting to be anymore.

One Wish

One Wish

by: Tyler Ross

A day hasn’t gone by

or many minutes 

where you haven’t been

living beautifully in my mind.

Wish I could hit rewind

and like Groundhog Day,

relive those summer months.

How did I let these times go by,

not showing you

that you were first

and most important

of all-time?

As maturity & growth are excavated

in self-purgatory

and self-awareness leads way 

to mostly glory

I’m still reminded of the shitty parts

to our story

where I wasn’t the best you deserved

and I’m sitting watching you live life 

without me is absurd.

I really hate this.

Why did I create this?

I took a separate shot at space and time

and really really missed.

Only I have myself to be so pissed.

I daydream all the time 

about the life we should be living.

I want to quit so many things

given the second chance and you forgiving.

I don’t even recognize 

that foolish soul many months ago.

I hate that you don’t even see me now,

because of what you now know.

Give me a genie lamp

and I’ll only need the one wish.

I’ll prove to you forever

you’re the one I’m in love with.

I Wish I Could Help Everyone

"Just gonna fly into the sun. 

Then when I’m reborn as the Phoenix,

I’ll come save everyone."

- me (Tyler Nathaniel Ross)

Ups & Downs

Ups & Downs

By: Tyler Ross

 

I see you trying, but you’re lying

to yourself.

There’s no other way, 

but I promise you today,

there is.

Take those feelings and release them

into the air.

And breathe in and out slowly

because you care.

I say this with love and no disrespect.

You got to remember all the lives you affect.

It’s more than a count on just one hand.

The world is a better place with you in it.

I hope you understand.

BLM (Say It, Live It)

BLM (Say It, Live It)

by: Tyler Ross

Black Lives Matter, why can’t you see?

Why is it hard for you to treat civilly 

and equally 

like you would to me?

Our police intimidate our streets,

and with institutional racism,

our brothers and sisters find it hard to compete.

A leveled life playing field everyday.

Opportunities like you and I have,

the privilege to control their own way.

And still, you find it hard to understand or say,

Black Lives Matter

Every fucking day!

Just like yours, just like mine.

Stop trying to shadow the shine.

This should have never taken this much time.

Are you an ally 

or are you ignorantly uneducated?

What will it take? 

For you to bring your walls down,

showcase real respectful love over the hatred.

This isn’t political.

Protecting Black people is critical.

Humanitarians, raise your fist in the air.

Time to reach for the pinnacle.

And for all you speaking cynical,

Your lack of presence is visible.

Lacking an understanding to the basic human rights principles.

Fighting for equal justice will resume.

Elevate the unheard and allow their voices to bloom.

Since the evil in people won’t fully die

Like Pac said, we gotta make these changes

and do what we gotta do to survive. 

Give back, open your mind.

Protect All Black Lives!

Let’s help keep people of color alive.

Today, tomorrow, forever we will continue to strive

for everyone 

to have the chance at life’s giant piece of the pie.

With or Without You

With or Without You

by: Tyler Ross

Place your bet

make it count.

The hand you deal,

for the exact amount.

Lots of noise,

remove the buzz.

Focus your mind,

stay away from what was.

Learn from silence,

face your facts.

Don’t underestimate fear,

it’ll send you two steps back.

Forward progress,

lift your anchor.

Be careful with who you trust.

Lead with heart,

not anger.

Open your mind,

and see,

the endless amount of possibilities.

Let go of hope.

No more doubt.

Relinquish control

and reroute

The time is now.

Nothing Lasts Forever

Nothing Lasts Forever

By: Tyler Ross

Your so-called intentions are no extension

to how you truly feel.

You play people pretending to be their friend,

but in the end

you’re just as pathetic 

as the words your actions could never live up to.

Who’s fooling who?

I’ve got some unsolicited advice for you!

Nothing lasts forever.

One day those knocks at your door will cease.

Nothing lasts forever.

No will to feed this lowlife beast.

Our ties have been fully severed.

Oh, you think you’re clever

serving me your excuses

countless times

and rendering my attempts useless?

If you wanted to, you would have.

Speak up when spoken to.

It takes two.

Keep doing what you do,

cause in the end

no one will extend

or pay you the time of day

when this is how you choose to behave.

Please do me a favor

and evolve

or go the fuck AWAY!

2017

2017

By: Tyler Ross

Hand over the phone, 

my thoughts are gathering 

and let me explain 

why I think my mind is scattering. 

Walking around with my face in my hands 

trying to understand 

why I have no plans. 

Friends are absent. 

I’m constantly forgotten. 

Just some facts 

that make waking up feel rotten. 

Some days I can barely exist. 

Frustrated with the world around me 

caught in its twist. 

Its constant struggle 

inside my head. 

Not understanding why 

most empathy is dead.

Nothing’s changing 

and I probably will be 

losing all patience and the hope left in me. 

Jaded more than I ever have been. 

The ego’s are too strong 

and bad behavior still wins. 

Some days I’d rather call it than have to deal 

or try to get involved with it. 

Its not for me nor will it ever be 

a place to see 20/20. 

Some days I wish I wouldn’t be.

Playing A Part, But Not Your Lead

Playing A Part, But Not Your Lead

By: Tyler Ross

Your silence says everything.

(Thanks again)

I now know I don’t mean anything

to you.

I’m in the way

and taking up space

where there’s a void 

of something I can’t fill

or replace

for you,

to be

the person you’ve become that went from treating me

from something to nothing

as you grew further 

from your actions and words

that kept me warm 

when you kept cold inside

not speaking your mind

and wasting all this time.

When you could have stayed away

and saved your days,

for someone else or yourself.

I don’t understand

why you left me on the shelf

to collect this hurt.

Again and again,

dust turns into dirt

now under your shoes.

Nothing left to lose,

I gotta carry on

now you’re just old news

as I choose

a new place for me

and sew shut these wounds.

I’m more exposed

again wearing these blues

and it’s getting harder and harder

to trust when you’re constantly used.

Numb infused

and recovery gets easier.

I hate what I’ve been turned into.

Nothing.

The Middle Finger Acceptance

The Middle Finger Acceptance

by: Tyler Ross

I am temporary.

Easily forgotten.

A toy on and off the shelf.

Abandoned,

or

mislead.

The slow decline of health.

Mostly used.

More broken.

Can’t understand the unspoken.

The world still rotates on.

Little to no replies.

No one knows why I’m really dying inside.

Constantly feel like a bother.

Genuine or nice won’t suffice.

No one really seems to try.

Reciprocation absent, why?

No one really even says goodbye.

A reflection of many.

What a time to be alive,

as I feel my heart die,

I stick these middle fingers

deep into my eyes.

No more words,

drowning in the absurd.

May 25th, 8AM

May 25th, 8AM
by: Tyler Ross

We met over coffee
with limited time.
The roast was okay,
but your presence sublime.
A couple of delightful hours
zipped on by
and yet,
soon you had to fly.
Work was calling,
time to say goodbye.
Collected a couple moments
by film photo choice.
I left smiling
with wonder thinking
of the kindness in your voice.
Not enough day spent,
I selfishly thought.
Will we get more time,
or was this all we got?
Months have gone by
and still I smile
when thinking of you.
Happy when your name pops up
even if I've been blue.
I want to stand out.
Be a name to you.
See you again face to face.
Get to know the real you.
And fill in all this unknown space.
More time spent, which I chase.

What's It To You?

What’s It To You?

by: Tyler Ross

Everything fades and goes away.

The game of life you constantly play.

Time doesn’t heal, it hardens your mind.

You either learn to deal or get left behind.

Face the facts and force yourself to carry on.

Find your bliss before you’re gone.

It's a cold world with too many that take.

Move on from the greedy, unkind and fake.

It’s hard to cope when you rarely relate.

Always feeling like you’ve gotta escape.

The ego, the one-uppers, the disrespectful fools,

the big mouths sucking the air out of the rooms.

The liars, cheaters, and manipulative scum

poisoning healthy human progression one by one.

The self-centered, selfishly consumed

lacking empathy adding more Earthly doom.

We’ll all be gone soon.

So, what’s it to you?

If I'm A Bird, Then You're A Bird

If I'm A Bird, Then You're A Bird
By: Tyler Ross

Immediately drawn in
to see, to hear
and know this is where you want to be.
Taking it all in,
yet mesmerized with joy
and constantly wishing for one more minute.
All in and when she smiles,
you smile that much more.
The world becomes more silent,
her laugh carries the tranquil score.
What an incredible feeling
driving you to know and want more.
Every day you find yourself in thought,
wanting to explore.
A possibility where you completely
stand out
and she wants even more.
A constant give and take
igniting two
all the way into the inner core.
What do you do when this feeling shows?
What's the natural way to help it grow?
Given my impact has been felt.
Given there's a chance now that time has
been dealt.
She sits radiant in my mind
and I'm jazzed she's there.
To get to know her more
is the coolest.
Such a fresh breath of air.
No one can hold a candle to.
No one to compare.

Braindead

Braindead

By: Tyler Ross

There’s a disconnect

over saturating the world.

Uploaded, downloaded, 

distorted and distractingly whirled 

human connect falls 

to its knees

begging for another fix

training the brain to submit

more minds dead in the mix

controlled and summoned

A life inside a screen

a world with less of a dream

trapped where no one cares if you scream

with everything at hand

retaining information

is now foreign to understand

reevaluate what’s at stake

when obsession becomes a big mistake

desensitized,

no longer can we relate

you can’t get out

unless you go away

a less civilized and lazy Earth

our price to fucking pay

Take a stand

Get out while you still can

Reprogram the brain

Do more than you can

Its on us to reconnect

and snap out of it

dig up our roots

or live with what we get

braindead with a life in debt

What If?

What If?

By: Tyler Ross

An individual 

that stands out 

on their own.

A person you’re very impressed by.

A wit and intelligence 

that’s infectious.

Aesthetically radiant to you.

Wow’d by all the time.

Constantly on your mind.

A place so safe

Where you always feel great.

Appreciated.

Reciprocated.

Space given,

Life driven.

Empathy livin’.

A smile that floors you 

to the core.

And keeps you on your toes,

wanting more.

A.P.C.

A.P.C.
By: Tyler Ross

Rapidly darting around inside my head,
are the thoughts of you.
Heavy with feeling,
I don't feel well.
I want to cry.
Seeing your life blossom
with love and bliss is beautiful,
yet I am asking myself why.
Why the hurt inside?
Why the shame?
You're gonna be a mum soon.
Nothing will be the same.
Only the greatest gain.
Something inside my brain
wants to add torturous bricks to my shoulders
and I feel like I'm under water.
Dying to breathe.
Dying to make this all go away.
I'm haunted by my thoughts,
the memories of you.
The things I wished were different.
The things I wish I didn't do.
I was younger and somewhat without a clue.
Who knew I'd be so blue,
while the Earth rotates on
and I turned into an outsider
watching you go on
to be the best mum,
girlfriend,
and a more lovely human being,
who grew up and proved me wrong.
I'll bury my head in tears to City & Colour
- "Casey's Song."

Its Summer, So Why Is It Snowing?

Its Summer, So Why Is It Snowing?

By: Tyler Ross

Step into a mind that’s different than yours.

When respect is paid but not returned.

You got a lot of nerve 

and no excuse.

When the time comes,

its the power of another you abuse.

I’ve got a short fuse,

and can’t seem to choose.

If I should just walk away

or get a better clue.

You’ve meant that much

and it fucks me up.

How you could just pull the plug

saying enough’s enough?

It ain’t that easy

please hear me out.

I saw something special

between us no doubt.

I know you felt it too 

and I’m not asking much of you.

Just reconsider how you treat me

when I step into your view.

No tolerance for lies.

No exception for deception.

The time is now for your confession.

I’d walk away now,

but then you wouldn’t learn your lesson.

Empathy is in question.

Help me understand 

this unwanted tension.

The Definition Of Insanity

The Definition Of Insanity

By: Tyler Ross

People can be devalued by speaking the truth,

while others can level up

instantly just by being 

conscious

or less present

or showing less care.

Its a crime to be “there”

Two truly connecting

is irrelevant 

no matter how fluid 

the consistency.

Its a mystery

or it’s a cop-out.

You decide

as frustration settles

once more.

I’ll never understand

as I’m forced 

through another door.

A helpless feeling 

in these situations

forevermore.

Not Everything Is Made Up

Not Everything Is Made Up

By: Tyler Ross

Umm… I’m sort of at a loss.

The moment you feel hindered

distance between a being you really dig

I pay the cost

too big to be lost.

When connection buzzes high,

I don’t want to walk on by

or smother its wings

when wanting to fly.

But embrace its beauty,

a vibing powerhouse

full of stellar continuity.

Naturally sparked on its own,

uniquely grown

and a bonus of happy tones.

Gravitating.

Magnifying.

Reflecting time.

Give me a sign!

A logical piece of mind.

When you get too close to a friend,

somehow its bad

these days

and you scare them in the end.

Fuck!

Damn.

I’m aware. 

Feeling annoyed.

Instincts must be broken

because I became outspoken 

decided to bend

and extend 

my interests beyond

this unique bond

and now I feel like I did wrong

when all I did was flow.

Please know

I really liked our flow.