Ugh, That Stabbing Pain

Ugh, That Stabbing Pain

by: Tyler Ross

So you said I love you to someone new.

And now the world just suddenly sped up

as my heart tries to stop 

and I immediately feel all shades of blue.

Colorless on the outside,

my saddened pigment comes through.

A flood of heat burns in my core

and empties my stomach,

there’s now vomit on the floor.

Broken to my knees,

heaving, it’s way too hot,

I need some breeze.

But now there’s too many locks on my door.

Stuck in between important life attachments

and suicide not wanting to be anymore.

I Hate You

I Hate You

By: Tyler Ross

How much more will you take from me

until there is nothing left?

I can feel your greed.

You’re shady as fuck and can’t tell me anything straight.

You’re living your lies and I just don’t relate.

I’m bored of your ways and you’ve become toxic for me.

You take and you take and you’re destroying me.

Excuses and sorries while you do as you please.

Hiding the truth in your shadows hoping no one sees.

But I do!

I do!

I fucking do!

Good for you!

You!

I hate you!

How much do you take the good for granted?

When there is nothing left,

you run for the weak and easy handed.

You’re pathetic to me and I won’t watch you bleed.

Attention starving leech, from you I am freed.

Selfish, volatile, so much hate in your heart.

I hope you find peace wherever you are.

You won’t fuck with me again or drain the good left in my life.

Taking advantage of my nice, 

what you are and do ain’t right.

Thanks to you.

You!

I hate you.

You!

Trust is harder.

So fuck you!

You!

Fuck you!

Inside Out

Inside Out
By: Tyler Ross

He just stares into space,
feeling less day by day,
unsure about wanting to stay.
The skin he wears is uncomfortable.
His core compromised too many times,
and love lost by self-induced flames.
He remains exhausted from his mind,
and tired from time spent - failing,
not relating.
His world feels toxic, unfamiliar
and losing importance rapidly.
The very things that validate him
feel like they're alienating him.
Devalued.
Torn.
This isn't the life he signed up for.
A suicide note now means so much more.
Polluted.
Truly unappreciated,
he struggles to grasp a life once loved
and misses it very much.

Treading Water To Freedom

Treading Water To Freedom

By: Tyler Ross

I started off on the wrong foot

or at least you’d like me to think.

I blinked twice and saw you above me.

Teary eyed and torn in two,

a reflection of what’s inside of me.

Consumed,

with anger, distrust

and the distancing,

I walk this solitude alone.

Scared of what I’m becoming.

Closed off,

afraid to continue to be disappointed

by the walking, talking heartless

I find myself in front of.

Draining my everything

into a pool of unhappiness,

I am stumbling forward,

in search of

a beautiful accepting exit,

that will hopefully assist with my departure
away from this all.

Outsider

Outsider

By: Tyler Ross

So, what the fuck?

Living, wishing for the best.

I wish.

I fucking wish!

Completely forgotten

How is it this?

A standout, never

Trying to keep it together.

I see you.

You don’t see me.

I reached out.

You pushed back.

Silence

Always fucking silence!

Repeat. Repeat.

Too many souls

Raised with no manners

So, I pick up my pieces

Heart in tatters

And you expect me to act normal?

No respect!
That’s what matters.

Fuck your excuses
and fuck feeling sadder.

Heart Disease

Heart Disease

By: Tyler Ross

Your unspoken sentiments

          propel me to suffer

                     that wounding thought.

How much more

         before my heart stops

                                 beating?

Seth Kifer (He Won't Happen To Me)

Seth Kifer (He Won’t Happen To Me)
By: Tyler Ross

let me tell you a story about an incredible man
with adventures to sell and strength in his hands
not the type of guy to leave you behind
but the past is the past, we all did find
those were the days when our youth ran it all
our spirits so high and we stood so tall
never did we think a fracture could grow
separating our ties and the years we did know
memories can splinter
sticking us with regret
sure it hurts, but time has been spent
no way of turning back in time
we all move forward as some rewind
he won't happen to me
he won't happen to me
leaving a great man behind
he won't happen to me
he won't happen to me
the result was outrageous to find
he won't happen to me
he won't happen to me
is what they all fuckin' say
he’s told one thing
and we all fade away
so let me tell you a story about a masquerade man
with an interpreter’s mouth and strings for his hands
not the type of guy to wipe his loyalties away
but a new born hypocrite with nothing to say
a fresh chapter is written for our old historic friend
not a day goes by where we don't reflect on him
parting our ways, we wish he valued friendship
and fought for his men which stuck with him