I Wish I Could Help Everyone

"Just gonna fly into the sun. 

Then when I’m reborn as the Phoenix,

I’ll come save everyone."

- me (Tyler Nathaniel Ross)

Ups & Downs

Ups & Downs

By: Tyler Ross

 

I see you trying, but you’re lying

to yourself.

There’s no other way, 

but I promise you today,

there is.

Take those feelings and release them

into the air.

And breathe in and out slowly

because you care.

I say this with love and no disrespect.

You got to remember all the lives you affect.

It’s more than a count on just one hand.

The world is a better place with you in it.

I hope you understand.

Hunger Pains

Hunger Pains

By: Tyler Ross

I know that you don’t see me,

but I love you still.

I’ve found my time is needy,

and I’m lacking the will.

To see outside of me

and my selfish ways.

We just pretend to be strong,

while caught up in our own waves.

Tumbling and crashing,

trying to take the reins.

Struggling and disconnecting,

feeding our own hunger pains.

I know that you don’t hear me,

but I love you still.

I’ve been working on myself,

trying to stabilize this commitment pill.

To know its hurting to see

and feel these words.

This distance isn’t just torture.

It’s crushing and for the birds.

Tumbling and crashing,

trying to take the reins.

Struggling and disconnecting,

feeding our own hunger pains.

Like Paper In The Wind

Like Paper In The Wind

By: Tyler Ross

Its funny how you say it,

like you have my back,

but when its time to be a friend

there’s just too much slack.

When trying to bridge this gap,

it becomes too much work.

I can’t seem to find the balance

limboing between the surface and the murk.

It drives me berserk

walking this constant one-way street.

Basic expectations become a luxury

when phoniness is a broken record on repeat.

I hate feeling like a freak.

A fiend yearning for a normal fix.

Where are the genuine people at

who want real friendships?

C’mon, let’s take a trip

down memory lane.

You know that place

where your type run this fucked up game?

You’re all the same,

but that’s been said before.

I won’t see any positive results

knocking at your door.

Maybe it’s a talk we’ve been putting off.

I can’t dodge anymore of your toxic molotovs.

A quick rip from the table cloth.

Can you see how much still remains?

For me, not enough.

I’m out and once your smoke clears

you won’t find me lingering about.

Won’t be hurting myself anymore

looking in mirrors.

Cheers!

Don’t let your shitty behavior hit you on the way to hell.

Respect is give and take,

can't you tell?

Maybe I’ll finally stop putting quarters in LA’s friendship well.

I don’t want to attract any more phonies to my nice.

Next time you cross me and fuck with my time. 

Think twice.

No more questionable ties.

Word to the fucking wise.

Goodbye.

Re-Learning To Love Thy Self: A.P.C. Part 2

Re-Learning To Love Thy Self: A.P.C. Part 2

by: Tyler Ross

Still figuring out how to love myself.

I try to look deep down

and there’s a sadness 

affecting my health.

I know it’s there.

Love lost because I decided to

tear at my heart

Dared to part

with the warmest I’ve known

from my life’s start.

I fucking ruined what I had

because I was scared of my new home.

The sweetest love.

Ready, aimed and soared above

the unknown

out of my mind

and away from the ultimate love possibilities.

Accepted and protected,

I was.

Lost my second chance all because

I had it all and I dropped the biggest ball 

one can get in this life.

I feel antsy almost every night.

Tight in my chest and in my mind, 

alright?

You don’t leave my mental site.

And that’s all right.

I’ve tried and you always seem to be 

the brightest light. 

I’m still so far, 

so far from being.

From loving me again.

So I can fully love again.

Okay? 

I was wrong. So wrong.

You were right.

It’s time to say…

Good night. 

My own hell, I set.

I’ve still got so much regret.

Stuck in a life full of inner hurting debt.

Gambled. Lost it all the day I jet.

I’ve still got so much regret. 

I'M SO SORRY!

Back in time to the day we met.

Rewrite the day I left.

Was It Even Worth It?

Was It Even Worth It?

By: Tyler Ross

We take it in and accept its stay.

A powerful tool, but just a tool,

okay?

It runs our lives and measures our worth.

So we believe in the validation

forgetting our limited time on this Earth.

Counting the numbers like currency

It’s absurd.

Depressed from as little as one word.

We bully ourselves just as much

as we torment each other.

Ego to the brain, destroying the sane,

smothered by this addiction.

You’d think this was fiction.

Or a junky’s depiction, 

the way we’re controlled

by these lies.

Be pretty, loud, and proud, more fit,

less wit and more superficial bullshit!

Heads lost in the clouds. 

It’s not legit, so quit

while you’re ahead.

Instead of checking out

unaware of what reality has fed.

A life logged in 

consuming significant amounts of time.

One day real eyes will visualize real lies.

Word to the wise before your soul dies.

You’re worth more than a tap on the screen.

You’re worth more even if you aren’t being seen.

You’re worth more than the amount of friends you’ve got.

You’re worth more than 

all this distraction has taught.

You’re worth it, and that’s a hell of a lot. 

Distractions

Distractions

By: Tyler Ross

Feeding the rush of addiction

Honing in, the description

Another mission

Worm holed, goin’ fishin’

Troubled waters,

Richard Nixon.

Guilty and off the tracks

Listen up, face the facts

The will power you lack

Obsessing, no turning back

Caution tape snapped

Beyond, 

that’s a wrap

Too many thoughts,

Explosion

Under attack

Vision scattered all over the map

No cap

Hey normal, where ya at?

Consciousness is taking a nap

Distractions turned satisfactions

Primal reactions

Glued to rhythmic actions 

Until the beat stops

And shame spills from 

Inside out your lap

10 to 20 minutes

Then welcome back

Wipe, rinse, and repeat

Distraction complete

Reenter the world

From getting beat

Hey normal, where ya at?

I’d like to meet.

BLM (Say It, Live It)

BLM (Say It, Live It)

by: Tyler Ross

Black Lives Matter, why can’t you see?

Why is it hard for you to treat civilly 

and equally 

like you would to me?

Our police intimidate our streets,

and with institutional racism,

our brothers and sisters find it hard to compete.

A leveled life playing field everyday.

Opportunities like you and I have,

the privilege to control their own way.

And still, you find it hard to understand or say,

Black Lives Matter

Every fucking day!

Just like yours, just like mine.

Stop trying to shadow the shine.

This should have never taken this much time.

Are you an ally 

or are you ignorantly uneducated?

What will it take? 

For you to bring your walls down,

showcase real respectful love over the hatred.

This isn’t political.

Protecting Black people is critical.

Humanitarians, raise your fist in the air.

Time to reach for the pinnacle.

And for all you speaking cynical,

Your lack of presence is visible.

Lacking an understanding to the basic human rights principles.

Fighting for equal justice will resume.

Elevate the unheard and allow their voices to bloom.

Since the evil in people won’t fully die

Like Pac said, we gotta make these changes

and do what we gotta do to survive. 

Give back, open your mind.

Protect All Black Lives!

Let’s help keep people of color alive.

Today, tomorrow, forever we will continue to strive

for everyone 

to have the chance at life’s giant piece of the pie.

Why I Protect Myself?

Why I Protect Myself?

By: Tyler Ross

The nicer I am, the less respect I seem to get.

How come you can make plans with them,

but ignore our plans like they ain’t shit?

We’re told its a give and take,

but the more I think about it,

I really don’t relate.

Seems like a lot of work to be friends.

The road only works for most on one end.

But still I bend, 

I break and I make the same mistakes

with those more willing to take 

than communicate.

This isn’t a debate.

You can’t argue my feelings

when there’s no true care at stake.

So continue to fuck off

and do as you please.

You won’t find me waiting around.

You won’t find me on my knees.

My fault for giving you too much effort and my time.

You disrespected mine

and I’m learning more to respect myself,

so step away as I grow and shine.

You no longer matter

as I like to stick with those who are kind.

Don’t come crawling back

because you’ll only get my behind.

Stay convenient.

Stay unlearned and stunted.

You are no longer worth my time.

We all know the type

and you are NOT wanted!

New Death

New Death

by Tyler Ross

I want to live as long as possible

and prosper with everyone

striving for the better within and out.

But I’ve got doubt.

There’s something aching

and distracting

holding me in an existential place.

I find it funny in these times

me visiting so many graves

and watching the world burn,

when it truly needs to be saved

from the hells its created.

I’m fading.

My heart health seems to be failing.

Please don’t let me go set sailing

without properly and lovingly 

saying bye.

I want to help everyone in need 

fly high.

But I’m sorry if I couldn’t last.

Death sure does come fast. 

Gavi

Gavi

by: Tyler Ross

I’m still fucking bummed

you’re gone.

I know life has moved on,

but as I listen to Lindsey’s song

I'm reminded of our memories.

Has it been that long?

I remember late nights after work

and the many conversations had.

Life in depth, our dreams and goals.

Girls and work and the jokes that had us 
laughing out of control.

The 49ers and UCLA football,

two things I’m glad we shared,

but today along with your music,

I still get sad.

I still care.

You made Los Angeles more sane.

You really helped ease my brain.

Countless nights and all those days

watching your other band grow too

and the successes you made.

Damn, I am so proud of you.

To this day, even when things tend to fade

I wouldn’t trade the times we’ve paved.

Set in stone.

You’ll always be a star

No matter near or far.

From the bar to the walks to the car,

and the late night chats

to documenting your music. 

Wherever you are.

I miss you, my friend

until the end for me.

Thank you for all these memories.

Out To Rust

Out To Rust

By: Tyler Ross

We’re all in touch, but out of touch.

We want the bare minimum, 
with a maximum of stuff.

Want more with less 
and want less when we feel stressed.

Overwhelmed.

A constant mindfuck test.

We do it to ourselves.

Putting those that don’t matter on pedestal shelves.

While tending to leave what’s real in the dust.

A digital wealth

Selling our souls, our mental health.

We lack a deeper trust.

We tend to internet lust.

Demanding attention when silence makes a fuss.

to us, leaving our intellects out to rust.

Sweet P

Sweet P

by: Tyler Ross

Fun sized and nutty,

Take in the aesthetically pretty

Peanut.

See, but 

there is more.

Smartly protected from the shell

down to the core.

A weasel of the legumes.

More fun than the funniest shrooms.

Perfumed natural,

coolest snack of the party,

factual.

Open up from the top,

go in.

like a Pumpkin.

And somethin’ magical will light.

Take hold, 

savor it,

the sight.

Now look into your hands,

the dust of delight.

Fragments of gold

soaring up to great heights. 

Hey, tastebuds.

Have another marvelous flight!

Where Are You Doctor Manhattan When We Need You?

Where Are You Doctor Manhattan When We Need You?
by: Tyler Ross

I wish Doctor Manhattan were real.

There’s a rage I feel 

toward everyone with 

powerful privileged lips sealed, 

while another person of color killed.

By the hands sworn to protect.

Instead you put a knee to his neck?

Last time I checked,

no life is yours to take.

Your bed you’re deciding to make?

Before you think to do.

I’d choose 

Life

or you’re screwed.

Be better or you’ll lose.

His hand is the fire.

Your next negative action is the fuse.

Time for a changin’

so spread the news

or he’s coming for each 

and every one of you.

 I will fight 

for them all.

Since those 

in power hardly make the right call.

So its got me daydreaming,

because at least 

in this world,

no more 

have to fall.

And lose out on life.

In reality I’m screaming!

Let’s stand the fuck up 

and keep black lives 

breathing.