Hot, Warm, Hot, Cold or So I Think

Hot, Warm, Hot, Cold or So I Think
By: Tyler Ross

I don't know what certain things mean.
Regarding signals, intended for,
but I don't intend to ignore.
They just fly in, land
and settle like a feather caught on a fence.
I live there when I get this way.
Happy with something new
though unsure with the unnecessary
silence.
A reciprocation lessening
from time to time.
Do the pages turn the same
or is one snagged upon the seemingly high fence
                                                                       I've built?
I never know if I'm doing well
because silence at the end of the day
clutches my hand and holds me
until I can no longer take it.
I seem to not be able to shake it,
so I sit alone
with my records
picking through my brain
late at night like one questions
the unknowns of the universe.
I'm confident but the silence...

Nice Girl

Nice Girl
By: Tyler Ross

In my mind, I’m not fine.
Seek me out, any time.
Erase the noise,

that keeps revisiting me.

Sow me up at my mouth.

Don’t give me reasons,

to laugh about.

I was happy no less than twelve hours ago.

In my mind, I was fine.
Reached on out, now I’m blind

stolen senses,

there’s a silence now living in you.

Build me up, break me down.

Give me little,

then you head on out.

I'm not sure what this all really means.

I gave you me,

You ate it up

I’m just bones left to dust.

I could have sworn

you wanted this like me.

Unofficial Agenda

She 

always kept him safe

in that place when she was all alone.

She loved two,
even when 

she called one her home.

Monkey See, Please Do

Monkey See, Please Do

By: Tyler Ross

When every human 

starts 

to care for others 

without any expectations or 

anything in return, 

then you can talk 

to me 

about empathy.

20 Plus Years

20 Plus Years
By: Tyler Ross

I’m uncomfortable

at the constant

thought that I miss

my friends.

The only ones left,

they’re inside my head.

I once spoke to a woman

that told me

if someone doesn’t make

the effort

in return

after three tries,

to let up.  But I

never quite

understood,

because I cared so fucking much for
those I wanted close

kept getting so far

away.

I miss when my friends missed me. 
Wanted to see me. 
Life is lonely 
when efforts are made in sizable numbers, 
but the number 
in return 
formulated this hole 
into my heart. Fuck feeling 
the efforts I’ve employed 
return as I feel sad,
disappointment. I used to not care, 
but as I get older I care 
more to have my friends. 

Pause For Ten To Twenty, Maybe Thirty Minutes

Pause For Ten To Twenty, Maybe Thirty Minutes
By: Tyler Ross

Something about a warm shower

where I tend to reflect

and

wish

the most.

Never feel completely

cleansed,

but

something about being 

alone with 

the water's

drizzling sounds,

complete human 

silence

that makes

me

feel hopeful,

alive

and feeling

it’s worth

living at least one

more

day.

Trepidation

Trepidation
By: Tyler Ross

Uncomfortably still,
I lay stiff and deteriorated 

with tightened muscles,
fighting 

the darkness seeping inside my brain, 

as I stressfully mumble out, 

“I don’t want to die. 

I don’t want to die.” 

Minutes later, 

the hospital becomes blanketed with black. 

Like anesthesia and sleep, 

my lungs tread life one last time 

as my last exhale is filled with fear 

and nothingness. 

Earth’s beings hold the proof, 

the proof I existed.