Your Projections

Your Projections

By: Tyler Ross

Sometimes I wanna tear out my skull 

and reveal the rotting pain bruises below.

I need closure and your secrets unleashed

and these sleepless nights to end

so I can find some peace.

I want something to ease my mind,

the ripping at my heart has me falling behind.

I’m fucking sad, and I want it to end,

and I don’t have enough energy to phone a fucking friend.

I’m all alone and the shadows seep in,

it’s getting darker

and my mood won’t fucking bend.

Back to happiness you’ve been stripping from me

all because you’re not happy with who you think you should be.

Projections!

I woke again, tormented by dreams

and still your constant silence ripping at my seams.

Shed my skin, let it all in

exposed to the bone and scared, 

my thoughts are turning grim.

I want you to think of me and not just yourself,

the damage you’re doing 

and destroying my fucking health.

You say you truly love me, 

but you’re forcing me out to be the victim, 

now numbing me with fucking doubt.

I feel diseased plagued by your own scars,

I’ve been walking a million miles, while you’ve got the car.

Left behind, I can’t climb out this well

You’re slowly cutting our rope while I scream for help

in hell.

Your projections!

Projections!

Unknown Hours

Unknown Hours

By: Tyler Ross

I thought about you today,

but not in that obvious kind of way.

I worried some

and

waited hours for 

your text.

I got lost in thought.

It made me kind of

a mess.

I am

not sure

why I am receiving this treatment.

You have no answers.

I have a hole in my heart

growing.

You are the all-knowing

of what's going on...

and what will come of us

in the end.

Its hard to fight

a one-sided fight.

Its hard to sleep

each night

after you say good night.

Not knowing if we'll last

and

I don't want to be just a part

of your past.

Happy With Me?

Happy With Me?

By: Tyler Ross

I am like a disease

to you

an inconvenience,

a life drainer,

a depletion of mood.

But I don’t see it that way,

or 

at least I try not to.

Fighting my cancerous thoughts

from making me believe

those projections from

you

are my absolute responsibility.

Bricks are stacking high.

Why can’t you just try

to see things through my eyes?

The hurt, the pain, 

the unsatisfying struggle inside your brain 

boiling without much

cool.

Let me see the best you

I feel for you,

but

I’m losing strength.

Feeling is sailing toward sea.

Depression is growing in me.

Love isn’t gone,

but it feels like

its going from you.

Can’t you be happy 

with a guy like me?

A guy that you know deep down

is a great guy all around

A treasure

someone else lost,

but you ultimately found. 

Whatever, Nevermind

Whatever, Nevermind

By: Tyler Ross

I am important too

and

deserve to be treated as

so

you think I'm gonna stop

mentioning it?

Not until actions

scream louder than

words

and I am

more than just words

I am more.

Pre - V - Day

By: Tyler Ross

I love
I loved harder today.
I tried to be more patient.
I felt I did a pretty good job.
I was frustrated.
I waited.
I waited.
I waited.
Fuck!
Forgotten.
Missed.
Missing.
Why am I so easily forgotten?
Cranky now.
Wanted to write bad thoughts.
Didn't.
Not smart.
Doesn't help me.
I made something.
I sent it.
Maybe you smiled immediately...
Maybe it went to waste.
I imagined happiness.
Nice words came.
A little cranky.
Upset.
Leftout.
Forgotten.
I love.
I still love.
I don't like giving up.
If only you knew.
In love.
Its 2am.
Music plays.
I write.
I'll go to bed.
Fuck.
Its Valentine's Day.
Who cares, right?
I kind of care.
I'm romantic no matter the day.
I should really go to bed.
That's healthy.
Maybe soon you'll see.
I am great.
Greater than the average C.
I want you to remember me.

Tired & Awake

Tired & Awake

By: Tyler Ross

Replacement,

abandoned from an early age,

you selectively gave, but took a lot.

I hate you.

You dished hypocrisy for breakfast,

lunch and dinner.

Dessert?

A sour glass of tears,

I traded for insecurities and fear.

Trying,

that action which seems easier some days

than the rest.

Mentally damaged 

when those I love or care for

choose someone or some thing over me.

Hang ups,

Fuck you!

I didn’t even shower today.

I barely ate and my mind won’t let up.

Please end this.

Its torture inside and the communication tower

is falling down.

No signal.

Are you really gonna start to love me 

when I’m not around?

Again, 

today I am down.

Feeling like wasted space.

To Live By

Nature shows us truth.
It doesn’t lie or try to be something it’s not. 
We get complete transparency. 
And there is a freeing sense that we never really have to question what we get.

- TNR