A Passion For Painting Red

A Passion For Painting Red

By: Tyler Ross

There is a cold emptiness of a feeling consuming my insides

I’m starting to visualize a bigger picture that’s cutting me down to size

Who knew there was a monster eager to be free within me?

I want those to tempt me, so I can act selfishly

My eyes are filled with heat and appear shallow

My mind is continuously visited by villainous contemplation

The things that once mattered have no true impact anymore

What am I becoming that has me feeling such an overwhelming, but joyous sensation?

Trouble is coming, but no one will be warned

I’ve spent years perfecting innocence, but now I’ve been reborn

Soon, those will see my true colors for what they truly are

I’ve walked too perfect; too perfect hiding all my scars

I love one and that one is myself

I don’t enjoy most people

Facts are facts; I don’t plan on getting help

Nothing can fix these up and coming impulses

I don’t plan for those to understand

But I will make it known

This birth of a new man

There is a jagged line in between the black and the white

I’ve found my release from these callous beings in my sight

Hunger urges for a feast long awaited in this weary wit

I’m coming to devour this pain in my head that won’t quit

Armed with the white horse

The darkened world will now have light

Taking out the garbage

Erasing all that are toxic in my life

Note: Inside the mind of a mad man perhaps...definitely not me.

Sponge Heart, Champion Brain

Sponge Heart, Champion Brain

By: Tyler Ross

Some things never change

Faces come and faces go

I try, I try, and I try

But I can’t seem to act on or trust where most lie

A victim

I can do it to myself

A force of bitterness

I can’t let this continue to exist

No risk, no glory

No reason to carry on this story

Bamboozled

You got me

But now I’ve escaped

I control my mind and my fate

Layers of bad

I manifest steps

I climb, I climb, and I climb

The world tends to balance out the mess

When I give up

I forfeit the chance to overcome

A winner’s mentality

I’ve got the PMA (Positive Mental Attitude)

I’ve already won

Escalator Jazz

Escalator Jazz

By: Tyler Ross

It’s been a week and already I’ve accepted defeat

One look and I was hooked

Admittance unsure, but my thoughts are pure

Interests have been submitted silently

I keep them near

Mentally within I want to win

I only ask for the natural attention

Come as it may

My mind won’t sway

Slightly obsessed

I confess

Curiosity at its best

This spunkiness speaks

Contagious energy greets

Nervous, I am

Next move somewhat out of tune

Soon, soon, soon

Fascination looms

Another time to venture textually directed toward me

I like what has happened to me

Yesterday was a short-lived delight

Hoping my instincts lead me right

Born This Way, Die This Way

Born This Way, Die This Way

By: Tyler Ross

If I had a wish and for it did come true

I’d tie it to a cannonball and send it toward the moon

What kind of man would I be pondering all these thoughts?

Do I not value what I have and work hard for what I got?

If you ask me, I’m going to push it away

Nothing can ever come as easy as you say

Instead you’ll pressure me and ask why

Everything I do for myself, and I never question time

I hold more to myself, trust only myself

Those who have tried have only hurt themselves

I won’t let my heart skip a beat for the ones who don’t suit me

You see these calloused hands? What do you make of them?

They’ve been through more life than you will ever understand

Too good for you

I’ll walk away

This heart remains true

I’ll survive another wave

Of bullshit on my own through this quested youth

I seek the truth

Second Place Waste

Second Place Waste

By: Tyler Ross

“You’re lucky,” he says

But it’s that envy that holds you back kid

Don’t let it into your head

Pedestal worship just isn’t real

You’re the first loser

How does it feel?

Living for someone or something that doesn’t want to be reached

They’ll leech sucking the life out of you

No clues to how you got there

Let’s compare someone who was never there

Never there, no care!

Short fuse and you will lose

Just walk away

You don’t have to pay your dues

For better choices made

It’s up to you to control you

Or you will be played

Stay away! Stay away!

Their loss, so move along

Don’t be a pushover understanding right from their wrong

Live and let learn

And watch them burn

Your time is now

No more waiting your turn

Second place is a waste behind first

You think you’ve been replaced

And you’re embarrassed to show your face

You think worse

About the way you were yourself analyzing each and every way

But not today

You’re better than that

Let them fade away

Send them on their way

You are first and that’s a fact

Stand tall or fall

You’ve got to see

The positivity of giving your all

Redirect your thoughts

Fuck what they think

Their mistake

Your time is now

Blatancy

Blatancy

By: Tyler Ross

The door closes slowly and I immediately begin to reevaluate the situation. She puts on a defense of mechanisms known to some as dirt, but to me they are excuses expressed to leave me in hurt. Why do the many want to cut themselves down to size and trash their image or peace of mind? And why do they try and assist in my decision-making? Be a one-of-a-kind. I find the answers are educated guesses developed by those who care to reflect these moments. Saddened and still perplexed by the actions brought to me in short bursts. Radiated connections, sexual detections and bonding intersections met constantly. Why question me? I can’t wrap my brain around to why as humans; most feel the need to flee from obvious harmony. Those who try to excavate and demonstrate hypochondria-like symptoms will find ways to set themselves apart from greatness presented clear as a summer day in California. Just give it a little time, I remind. The weak will shine, although I seem to follow this trend of being left behind. Do I really mind? Sigh. A little sample is what I call being kind. Longevity is my enemy, which I want to gain and end this obvious assertion that this time my opposite attraction feels the same. So, I walk to my car reassessing what I should never have to question. My decisions and intentions are pure, but my feelings lead me think these next days, she will allow me to sink. I stare out into nothing before starting my car and have trouble connecting the missing link. I can’t blink. This is all blatancy I think. I try and build up, but that of what doesn’t want to be built will show no true peace of mind. This is all blatancy I think.

Sellout Son

Sellout Son

By: Tyler Ross

You would think being raised in a low to middle class

Would erase my complaints and resort me to speak of the past

You’ve got it wrong, oh you’ve got it wrong

I will never go back and relive those days with pop and ma

A big fucking smile plasters my face

I escaped

What’s done is done and the world needs to know my place

In this fucking world you’ve got to learn from your mistakes (I know I’ve learned!)

You bet your ass I won’t be repeating those things I did in that living space

Hoisted from a master’s degreed ball player and a security guard slash housewife

Those two fucking lovers loved, but did it fucking wrong raising life

They worked their fingers to the bone and neglected to save their home

But who can blame non-planned parents

A classic household with two sons, but one forced to grow alone

I don’t hate the path of my old man or the efforts birthed from my own mom

They weren’t ready to have us kids, but did the best to get along

Those fights that rocked our home or the fear from their own touch

It’s those days I can’t replace and those nights it got so rough

They did the best they could and I didn’t do much to help

I just left them alone and mostly raised nothing but hell

So who would want a son that causes his creators so much grief?

A fucking sellout son, who was just too cold and a conniving fucking leech

Obtained from my own mom

You know the story of the dad, who wasn’t around

He was there, but didn’t care even when I made a sound (Don't blame him)

Popular in directing attention to my troubled ways

Stayed educated, questioning everything and looked ahead to better days

For those who’ve gotten this far (Fiction this be at best)

You should know my parents were better than most providers

A learned storyteller, I confess

But I just wasn’t all that great

I sold them out to be a liar

When speaking about them terribly seven years to this date

This is dedicated to the individuals, but ruined by the gullible masses

Distilled One Time

Distilled One Time

By: Tyler Ross

Breaking in and never letting down

The words I wish I heard instead of fading out

You were never there and it’s a goddamn shame

So why are you still speaking my name?

Cut you loose and you say so soon

Your negative ways left no more room

From anymore chances

Those choices you made

No need to judge, but rid your bitter taste

Rain, rain please wash away

And don’t let these hypocrites in our way

The sun always shines, but not for you

You aren’t posi and neither is your crew

FUCK YOU!

Breaking in and never letting down

No time for you, now leave my name out

You wish you were here, a part of something real

Curb kicking you out

Fuck what you feel

One, Two, Three Water Hog

One, Two, Three Water Hog

By: Tyler Ross

You ask me why I am drug free

My way of life, I choose not to waste

I swear I’m not perfect

But you continue to throw shit in my face

I’m fed up, you 1’d up and you still judge

Never pressured you to change what you love

That’s great if you want to spread your hate

And try to pretend you can even relate

Disgusted by the way you act, but I don’t criticize

So I expect the same from you

Leave your excuses in your mouth

And I’ll live my life for myself

Push me one more time and see what happens to you

You can waste your time all you want

I’m not trying it and don’t need it

I’m straight edge and your persistence will never bring about anything from me

It Ain’t Right

It Ain’t Right

By; Tyler Ross

Woven intricately in just the right time

The fools I have called my friends

Just move along, as I lay here to die

Unaware, their presence no longer resides

No reaching out for what’s left of me, alive?

Beaten, saddened, and the feeling of solitude

Silence lays its hands down as I spit up and choke on spoonfuls of delicious food

You bastards ain’t worthy as I thought you were

Selfishness overrules your life

Have I not been around long enough to satisfy?

Crawling, overheated, lungs pinched off

My head is like dynamite

Where any moment I could explode

Never really enjoying this life

But go on, I can’t create your sincerity

In a world of brothers, bonded by passion and hilarity

I barely walk, careful in the breaths as I talk

I sit and think; why does it take me to always say a thing?

Not looking for sympathy, but in a world so consumed in technology helping develop this distancing.

As I lay here down to sleep

I cough and I cough destroying my body’s drive

The world assumes so much

Perhaps why I never survived.

Starting anew . . .

A King's Road

A King’s Road

By: Tyler Ross

The evening of resistance has come to an end

All the thoughts to arise slowly clutter

No more concentration in this man

The wind blows, but no one seems to notice

The night’s sky is bleak as I carry on up the hill

All the shadows that form bring me in deeper

You can call it depression as I start to linger

Silence now is the only presence I call my friend

Is this the beginning of the end?

Will I ever truly escape this sad state I am in?

I hide behind the whites of my smile

When inside I am trouble and in all sorts of denial

Can someone please stay for a while?

Stay for a while.

Is this the beginning of the end?

Will I ever truly escape this sad state I am in?

Behind the wheel I reminisce for some time

The streets pass on by

I nearly miss my exit sign

My mind is so consumed

I just don’t know what to do

So I’ll drive far away

Given the choice to raise my voice

And shout out against those who oppose

The air is still silent and no one knows

This sad state I’ve always been in

Is this the beginning of the end?

Will I ever truly escape this sad state I am in?

Cut to ribbons once again

Will I ever feel the respect again from the one’s I called my friends

City Of Stress

City Of Stress
By: Tyler Ross

Wake me up, it's the start of the day
I have no money in my pockets and my rent, I still have to pay
Not much grub in the kitchen and the AC is out
My job is shit, but it's a job no doubt

Most around me I could care less for
Their mind's are warped
I don't want them knocking at my door
I'm jaded as fuck living in LA, but I've got to keep it posi
If I'm going to survive another day

It's about time to prove I am alive
I'm just a lone wolf trying to stay satisfied
My path is narrow, but I'll do my best
The walls may close, but I'll prevail in a city of stress

Nothing In Common

Nothing In Common

By: Tyler Ross

Let it slip into the air and say what’s swirling in your head

I can only live with your views

But no care since you’re blind to what’s there

No hearts, morals, and intelligence

Nothing in common with those who don’t make sense

I play the role of the smarter one

I’d rather be dead than not have any fun

Can’t be swayed

There will be no setbacks

Can’t be shamed

I won’t cut any slack

Without anything to say

No substance, or a level head

I’ll walk away

Nothing left to be said

You play the puzzle of life, but without the right piece

You force too much so I leave you with my peace

My spoken words are weapons of fire

Burned into the ground

I respect those inspired

Count them all right here on my hand

No gimmicks, no jokes

I’ll tell you how it is

There is only truth to come from this man

Sorry I won’t mold

I am what I am

Sorry, I can't be bought and sold

I am what I am

Nothing in common

I won’t continue to pursue

If there is nothing in common

I’ll find something better to do

You can’t force what is not there

I have nothing in common with those unaware

Blood Against Blood

Blood Against Blood

By: Tyler Ross

Soul searching for those alike

Backtracked many steps

Survived many fights

Life won’t wait

I’ve got to stay determined

My heads been down

But I haven’t lost focus

Given the chance

I will capitalize

You will forever see

Triumph on my side

Those no good to me

Will be erased

A closer bond than blood

You’ll never relate

I conquer those set to conquer me

Ante Up The Core

Ante Up The Core

By: Tyler Ross

What did you expect when we walked away?

Those lies you told and the empty words displayed

What do you expect when we call you out?

No need to backtrack, we already doubt

We are the kids with the strongest hearts

Nothing you stand for can sway or rip us apart

We keep our heads up and don’t back down

If you can’t keep it real just move along now

We are the kids with the strongest hearts

Nothing you can say could sway or rip us apart

Your character is cheap

It’s missing morals and respect

What makes you think we owe you a thing?

With your selfish ways and neglect

Only on your terms

It’s funny how you see it

Those ways won’t get you far

No care, no scars

You’ll never get it

Bound to our goals, our dreams, our needs

You won’t get in the way of what we believe

Ante up the core

Passion from within

You never had it and you never will

It’s people like you we like to ignore

Genosha

Genosha

By: Tyler Ross

Between my walls the foundation is left in ruins

A fantasy world is where I rest my head in attempt to escape from the ugly that surrounds me

Those I called friends sizzled away like water evaporates in the sun

I barricade myself within these walls to weed out those with guns

Who take aim at my target I call my life, in which I try and live to the fullest, away from the strife

Fighting to break free with passion and running from those consumed with apathy

This is my last chance at saving me

Upstate New York

Upstate New York

By: Tyler Ross

A boat for two out to sea

A pair of smiles sets the two free

A calm breeze settles the two

A pair of oars brushes the spring blue

A basket sits full of scrumptious food

A scene of flowers surround them enriched in hues

A day to remember

A day to not forget

A day with infinite romance

A day so exquisite

A five-hour trip

A time with no disruptions

A close, close bond between two

A shot from an arrow brought love’s interruption

First I'm Jazzed Like The 20s, Then Shot Down Like Zeppelin

First I’m Jazzed Like The 20s, Then Shot Down Like Zeppelin

By: Tyler Ross

Just when you thought you had what it takes, the honor is swept out right from under your feet. You analyze your mistakes, but in the end you realize they were all a bunch of fakes. Flakes in nature, you can’t change. They help you get your answers, pushing you to just walk away. Nothing can come clean from the lack of respect. Only neglect by you standing on solid ground, your head straight not being pushed around. Have the good one’s always taken this much heat? I bet more nice is rejected than douche bags automatically considered a defeat. Doesn’t add up or make sense. The logical conclusion still hangs tangled in a barbed wire fence. You can’t comprehend the mixed up world. You won’t understand most of what goes on between gentlemen and selfish girls.

Texas Bell Down A Water Well

Texas Bell Down A Water Well

By: Tyler Ross

Take a look at me. Tell me what you see. I’m feeling empty and you’re not what you said you’d be. You’re a coward. You’re a pretender. Did you think I would believe the stories that you told? Did you think I’d sit around waiting for your words to unfold? Before you, I was doing fine. After you, still not wasting a single second of time. I’m moving on. Can’t watch life pass me by. So fast, so far gone. Not waiting for you to arrive. As your body falls into the depths of the dark, the water will drown you into a cold sleep work of art. Cut the ribbon. We’ve got ourselves first prize, a make-believe lass full of lies. I was just too stupid to realize. Can’t watch life pass me by.

The Wolf Of March

The Wolf Of March

By: Tyler Ross

He packs his belongings and parts for the exit sign

His love isn’t like their love

Foreign to most

A one of a kind

Alone he walks baring his heart and soul

His passions always in constant control

Unwavering to the things he loves most

A stranger to the ones he even considers close

He loves to love

He knows nothing higher

The world is cruel to him

And his deepest desires

But he won’t give up

For he’s learned, “It Finds You”

He knows nothing higher

Than to stand for what he feels is true

Down a single road

He remains the only one

Encircled in the snow or burning in the sun

He knows only to carry on

He’s misunderstood, so they can’t relate

A loner to the earth

He’s accepted his fate

Hungry for the love he hasn’t received yet

A traveler of trails free from disrespect

Bold, but broken

He still finds peace alone

Solo, but hopeful

As an outcast not worried about the undertone

Disconnecting

Disconnecting

By: Tyler Ross

I should have seen you coming

The wrong signs driving down your road

I led myself to keep running

With no certainty of chance

My heart wanted to explode

But, who cares?

You were never there

Severing ties

It’s only fair

Severing ties

Separation to survive

How’s the cold where you live?

What I’d do just to give

A moment in your frozen shoes

Show you how to act

Show you there’s nothing left to lose

Mistakes have happened

And this grown man moves on

Nothing left to say

I now walk away

The guilt now rides on you

You’ve got it your way

Disconnecting any strings left for you to play

Disconnecting my feelings

Nothing left to say

Sick!

SICK!

By: Tyler Ross

I’m sick

Sick of people not inspired

Sick of jobs that won’t rightfully hire

Sick of the transit system

Sick of being tired

Sick of racism

Sick of fascism

Sick of television

Just sick of the entire ism’s

Sick of those preaching

Sick of being led reaching

Sick of bums leeching

Sick of bias teachings

Sick of being lonely

Sick of the fake

Sick of all the hate

Sick of problems that keep me awake

Sick of gay bashing

Sick of planes crashing

Sick of ideas clashing

Sick of opportunities passing

My patience is wearing thin

Sick of lazy Americans

Sick of those without passion

Again, again, and again!

Sick of life labels

Sick of not being able

Sick of popularity

Sick of paying lots for therapy

Sick of the money hungry

Sick of the greed

Sick of people abusing the drug system to get what they need

Sick of narrow minds

Sick of these wars

Sick of the blindness in religion

Sick of media turning us into whores

Sick of all the bullshit shoved in my face

Sick of exclusion because of race

Sick of politics and being told the better side to embrace

Sick of the radio playing the same songs

Sick of the knee-jerking self-righteous ones

Sick of platitudes

Sick of attitudes

Sick of children starving without any food

Sick of platform abusing celebrities

Sick of arguing about comedian hilarity 

Sick of those who judge

Sick of people who don’t recognize love

Sick of cold hearts

Sick of discrimination

Sick of my youth not capitalizing within their generation

Sick of the court system

Sick of those who won’t listen

Sick of opinions in the news (You aren’t journalism)

Sick of being last

Sick of reliving the past

Sick of questions not asked

Sick of people with no class

Sick of the cheaters

Sick of parking meters

Sick of chivalry non-believers

Sick of hanging alone in life's bleachers

Sick of empty words

Sick of not being heard

Sick of 2012

It’s fucking absurd

Sick of dissing vegans

You uneducated and non-planet caring heathens

I’m sick for so many reasons

Sick of wasted life

The excuses and those that quit

Sick of living in a world

that doesn’t give a shit

I’m sick

I’m sick of the lack of communication I see

Sick of selfish personalities

Sick of zombie sucking phone technology

Sometimes I’m sick of me

Sick of mediocrity

Sick of people not returning calls

Sick of the cops not protecting us all

Sick of not having universal health care

Sick of all the pollution in the air

Sick of playing it ‘cool’

Sick of the silence

Sick of all hidden systematic rules

Sick of being ignored

Sick of being poor

Sick of the inequality I see

I’m sick of so much more

I’m sick for those still not free

But somehow, I still have hope in me

I’m sick of...

Please drain some of this massive empathy

I feel sick

Now sick from being me.

DEAD

Dead

By: Tyler Ross

Hours spent and days spent fixed upon new ideas. I’ve been going through the motions reality checking myself, which seems to stream my deepest emotions. After activities, I’ve become more lethargic than ever. Can’t live in the past they say, but how do you help these days? When everything to distract you washes away like the oceans tide. These thoughts seem to stay. At the moment, not one of my passions shines like the sunrays spreading warmth over my world. Momentarily, I believe they will come, but whom am I kidding. I live in L.A.! Home to a place where my peers have to act a certain way. Where they cascade around ditching their priorities or sticking to empty promises and numerous ways to ante up their status. How do you find true friendship, when every breath of fresh air is robbed by falsity? I remember the days when I had a best friend, where I wasn’t stuck in the in-between as the middleman or the forgotten. You may read me and see I’m jaded, exposing myself well to the bone. You only reap what you’re shown. Say I’m rotten for my sidelined and experienced observations. I’m a logical creation. A life product, but I’m not becoming a part of this environment. I’m stating an early retirement. Dead! Dead! An early death for this defeated man. I’m no longer optimistic living in such a surrounded wasteful land. My goals will stay. My smile will fade. My drive will increase to escape and leave behind these fucks that create this disgrace on my face. Where are the real people? The loyalty I’ve read in books. Why am I the one robbed from having what they have? A close connection is all it took. All these individuals have yet to invest their time being my friend, as the efforts I have put forth to achieve. Did I stick around, while they planted their selfish seed? No! They would rather dick me around and use me for all their needs. Didn’t make me want to hang around. So I let go. I’m running away. So long to the old me. A new man I will generate today. This man will be more aggressive. This man won’t take any more of their shit. Death to myself I say for not seeing any real promise and the decay of my own mental health. Although I’m truly alone and admit, I’d rather stay alone, instead of spending my time swimming in their cesspools of shit. Dead! Dead! Friends till the end. Still trying to defend the existence of a real friend. Dead! Dead!

Salute To Our Instincts

Salute To Our Instincts

By: Tyler Ross

You fight the good fight and you can’t pretend

The answers to your question have settled you in

To not agreeing with the choices made

So you protect yourself with your own barricade

We strive forward in getting what we need

When we fall short

We try to pick up speed

Get disconnected and we start backing down

We’ve got to pick up our heads

Because the time is now

They expect us to feel sorry for ourselves

Give up and flee

They want us to accept loss

By taking what we need

But they got us all wrong

Because we’re the one’s that won

Carrying forward, our heads held high

No regrets, no shame

What’s done is done

We give thanks for the growth within

But elude contact to avoid suffering

A defense mechanism to save ourselves

We have to keep it together

Give up and we will fade out

True strength comes from within

Which side will you choose when suffering?

The side that use their wits

Or the side that hesitates and calls it quits

Blue ∞ Heart

Blue ∞ Heart

By: Tyler Ross

My stomach is in knots

My heart is broken again

Years of agony and defeat

When does love ever being?

You tell me

For my heart hurts

Damaged by many

It just gets worse and worse

Call me a martyr

Call me pathetic

You’re going to judge me

But I won’t sweat it

Numb to it all

Sad to say

Happy endings aren’t real

But in cinematic ways

What’s the point of following hearts?

With a blue heart torn apart

How does it heal?

When nothing is real

You find yourself hopelessly reaching

For a dream you never get to feel

I see those who are happy

But I stay blue

In the sense of my heart

I wish I could undo

The embarrassment

And the urge

But I’m forever cursed

Never reciprocated

Never converged

I’m still at a loss for words

What’s the point of following hearts?

With a blue heart torn apart

How does it heal?

When nothing is real

You find yourself hopelessly reaching

For a dream you never get to feel

Some days, my heart doesn’t make sense in my head

Or why it led where it led

Nothing to ever show

Lights out, back to bed

The Soloist of Realization

The Soloist of Realization

By: Tyler Ross

Sick and tired of all these liars

You feed one

You play with fire

No good can come from it

You play it smart

You don’t take shit

Head straight

You don’t back down

You write off who don’t come around

You have heart

You stay on track

You separate those who lack

You respect the respected

You give and take

Especially when sincerity gets rejected

You stay poised

Your aspirations locked

No excuses

Your actions walk

You’re a homerun

In a large park

You never settled for less

You love yourself

A complete success