Its Not Me, They Said

Its Not Me, They Said

By: Tyler Ross

Another long day,

sitting with my thoughts

and reading everyone’s pain.

Its constant clutter,

keeps building

and breaking down 

all we have gained.

Its so familiar

this hate 

surrounding all my friends

so much sadness

and letdown

not seeing who they are

or becoming

more ego and dying hearts 

from what’s important

loving everyone near and far

In constant battle of losing myself

to everyone putting themselves upfront

the selfish

the knee-jerk

the constant reminder of how its getting worse

instead of being better first

and extending empathy…

a togetherness building thirst

What’s worse… 

is the lack of unity

bickering, dividing

and no impunity 

is being served for the violence

trying becomes a science

when it should be clear

that a human alliance 

will guide us

to a better place

for all 

where people are viewed as people

seen equal

and working together 

to prevent a damaging sequel

opportunity for all

no matter gender, creed, or color

bringing power back to the people

instead of thrusting ego 

destroying one another

while the uppers stay upper

controlling our lives

making our existence even tougher

Time Has Changed

Time Has Changed

By: Tyler Ross

Convenience strikes,

your actions say it straight.

Your consistency lies 

in excuses,

I don’t relate.

You play your game,

but as soon as you’re caught

you try flipping it around

pointing fingers,

now you’re ready to talk?

No respect for time,

you allow your ego to shine.

You lack awareness 

and you take and take

not paying any mind.

No decency from you, 

you’re exposed

blindly telling me what to do.

Maybe you can see, 

but just don’t care?

Well then, fuck you!

I care

and won’t wait much longer.

Defensive you’ll stay,

now you’re a goner.

You can’t admit you’re wrong.

Lessons learned, so long,

I’m not waiting around

so I can belong.

Time has changed.

You’re all about yourself

no efforts, your ways

down a one-way street,

its no way to behave.

I’ve got no more time for you

no hope,

I’ll stay true.

I wish you all the best.

I’m through.

Malibu

Malibu
By: Tyler Ross

There’s much to be said 

about the way the ocean reflects its sky. Wild colors 

and vibrant chaos blanket the tide, 

the sand, the rocks, and on the surface of eyes. 

It can soothe a person 

immensely with the first gaze and guide you 

to a place of peace with the fading of its sun’s rays.  

Intoxicated 

by untamed light, the golden illuminates strong 

and the crashing of the ocean plays Mother Nature’s song. 

Each set 

unique in its cast, 

yet the more photographs you manifest the more memorable it lasts. 

Unless it is you with the tranquil mind, 

vividly recording life one radiant atmospheric burst 

or seagull caw at a time. 

The choice to choose 

and what an array of views 

being surrounded by Malibu’s hues.

Love, Awareness & Communication

Love, Awareness & Communication

By: Tyler Ross

I wish more people cared about love; 

expressing it, sharing it and treating others as they would like to be treated. 

Simple, right? 

The human being makes it tougher than it really is 

by coming up with excuses or simply just not expressing it 

to those around them, seemingly most only expecting it. 

Its the year 2016 

and its insane 

to me that people haven’t figured this out already 

or refuse to just let their egos or delusional ways of thinking go. 

There is no excuse. 

Love is incredibly important and should be given 

more to everyone. Communicate responsibly 

and be aware of those around you. 

You don’t have to walk on eggshells 

or be overly sensitive… But people should want to give 

more and communicate better. 

Pay attention. 

Love. 

Love. 

Love.  

I Want To Shine On My Own

I WANT TO SHINE ON MY OWN

By: Tyler Ross

I am a vice.

A temporary distraction.

The convenience to your lonely.

Wanted when others seem close.

A prisoner now to my own mental hell.

Shall I shatter my own heart

to remove myself from toxicity?

Or am I wrong for feeling this way

and should just harden my core,

and die kicking and screaming

forevermore?

You think they are selling you truth?

When the fact is 

They're selling you out!

I hang my head

so very full of doubt.

So full of doubt.

Help me, someone…

believe I am more than 

years being a punching bag

stemmed from hurt, 

and a lack of love

by the worst.

"Sweep the day to success and rise about it all."

- myself

I Hate You

I Hate You

By: Tyler Ross

How much more will you take from me

until there is nothing left?

I can feel your greed.

You’re shady as fuck and can’t tell me anything straight.

You’re living your lies and I just don’t relate.

I’m bored of your ways and you’ve become toxic for me.

You take and you take and you’re destroying me.

Excuses and sorries while you do as you please.

Hiding the truth in your shadows hoping no one sees.

But I do!

I do!

I fucking do!

Good for you!

You!

I hate you!

How much do you take the good for granted?

When there is nothing left,

you run for the weak and easy handed.

You’re pathetic to me and I won’t watch you bleed.

Attention starving leech, from you I am freed.

Selfish, volatile, so much hate in your heart.

I hope you find peace wherever you are.

You won’t fuck with me again or drain the good left in my life.

Taking advantage of my nice, 

what you are and do ain’t right.

Thanks to you.

You!

I hate you.

You!

Trust is harder.

So fuck you!

You!

Fuck you!

We're All Gonna Die (Born To Die Revisited)

We're All Gonna Die (Born To Die Revisited)

By: Tyler Ross

Creeping around the corner

I see death,

distorted minds

with no order, turning to chaos

I turn a cold shoulder

as I paint outside your lines.

It’s hard for positivity to set

with neglect

I live within these walls

can’t be settled as of yet.

Closed blinds against judgmental times

I pen words as a release

to find ultimate peace inside my mind.

I seem to pay for having respect,

pushing for a steady check.

Ready to die,

there’s no fear for I choose to accept.

We’re all born to die.

During such turbulent times,

I smile with the rest before fear interrupts my mind.

We’re all born to die.

Everyone for themselves.

it’s money over a life of natural wealth.

We’re all born to die.

So many have left their hearts on the shelf

never questioning the disconnect between themselves.

We’re all gonna die.

Time for peace from a world lacking empathy.

Turn cold 
to a world that continues to bury the good-hearted humanity. 

We’re all born to die.

My life won’t flash before my eyes.

I kiss my mom, brother and my dad goodbye

We’re all born to die.

As the darkness seeps,

no light will show

when they bury me 

six feet deep.

Take Me Under

Take Me Under

By: Tyler Ross

Depression, take me under.

I don’t deserve nice things,

you took the love from her.

I’m depressed too, 

can’t you see?

I’m buried in sadness,

and

that hardening feeling of loss

is overcoming me.

I sleep less,

I dream in nightmares.

I think about you still

and why the fuck

do I still care?

You left me cold,

sad and alone,

while you got happier 

far over there.

Please stop this!

The feelings come and go,

but won’t stay away.

I still want you

and

I don’t know why that is.

You stepped all over me,

used me,

and

white lies to cover up who the fuck knows.

But as a human being loving another,

I still got love for you

and

I don’t think you deserve me,

or

the time I still want to give you.

Fuck!

Depression, take me under.

You & Life > Everything Else

You & Life > Everything Else

By: Tyler Ross

Everything

around me is losing color.

Life sucks without you

in it.

I'm focused on myself,

but

no matter how much

I get done

or

how much I try to continue

with my life,

I can't fully. 

No matter what came between us,

it's not enough to stop loving you. 

I haven't stopped 

and 

I won't

because I can't fake or force away

my feelings.

I am crying as I write this.

These tears come and go,

but they won't stop

and I know why. 

You were enough and then some.

Irreplaceable.

You were enough

and life sucks

without you in it.

Your Projections

Your Projections

By: Tyler Ross

Sometimes I wanna tear out my skull 

and reveal the rotting pain bruises below.

I need closure and your secrets unleashed

and these sleepless nights to end

so I can find some peace.

I want something to ease my mind,

the ripping at my heart has me falling behind.

I’m fucking sad, and I want it to end,

and I don’t have enough energy to phone a fucking friend.

I’m all alone and the shadows seep in,

it’s getting darker

and my mood won’t fucking bend.

Back to happiness you’ve been stripping from me

all because you’re not happy with who you think you should be.

Projections!

I woke again, tormented by dreams

and still your constant silence ripping at my seams.

Shed my skin, let it all in

exposed to the bone and scared, 

my thoughts are turning grim.

I want you to think of me and not just yourself,

the damage you’re doing 

and destroying my fucking health.

You say you truly love me, 

but you’re forcing me out to be the victim, 

now numbing me with fucking doubt.

I feel diseased plagued by your own scars,

I’ve been walking a million miles, while you’ve got the car.

Left behind, I can’t climb out this well

You’re slowly cutting our rope while I scream for help

in hell.

Your projections!

Projections!

Unknown Hours

Unknown Hours

By: Tyler Ross

I thought about you today,

but not in that obvious kind of way.

I worried some

and

waited hours for 

your text.

I got lost in thought.

It made me kind of

a mess.

I am

not sure

why I am receiving this treatment.

You have no answers.

I have a hole in my heart

growing.

You are the all-knowing

of what's going on...

and what will come of us

in the end.

Its hard to fight

a one-sided fight.

Its hard to sleep

each night

after you say good night.

Not knowing if we'll last

and

I don't want to be just a part

of your past.

Happy With Me?

Happy With Me?

By: Tyler Ross

I am like a disease

to you

an inconvenience,

a life drainer,

a depletion of mood.

But I don’t see it that way,

or 

at least I try not to.

Fighting my cancerous thoughts

from making me believe

those projections from

you

are my absolute responsibility.

Bricks are stacking high.

Why can’t you just try

to see things through my eyes?

The hurt, the pain, 

the unsatisfying struggle inside your brain 

boiling without much

cool.

Let me see the best you

I feel for you,

but

I’m losing strength.

Feeling is sailing toward sea.

Depression is growing in me.

Love isn’t gone,

but it feels like

its going from you.

Can’t you be happy 

with a guy like me?

A guy that you know deep down

is a great guy all around

A treasure

someone else lost,

but you ultimately found. 

Whatever, Nevermind

Whatever, Nevermind

By: Tyler Ross

I am important too

and

deserve to be treated as

so

you think I'm gonna stop

mentioning it?

Not until actions

scream louder than

words

and I am

more than just words

I am more.

Pre - V - Day

By: Tyler Ross

I love
I loved harder today.
I tried to be more patient.
I felt I did a pretty good job.
I was frustrated.
I waited.
I waited.
I waited.
Fuck!
Forgotten.
Missed.
Missing.
Why am I so easily forgotten?
Cranky now.
Wanted to write bad thoughts.
Didn't.
Not smart.
Doesn't help me.
I made something.
I sent it.
Maybe you smiled immediately...
Maybe it went to waste.
I imagined happiness.
Nice words came.
A little cranky.
Upset.
Leftout.
Forgotten.
I love.
I still love.
I don't like giving up.
If only you knew.
In love.
Its 2am.
Music plays.
I write.
I'll go to bed.
Fuck.
Its Valentine's Day.
Who cares, right?
I kind of care.
I'm romantic no matter the day.
I should really go to bed.
That's healthy.
Maybe soon you'll see.
I am great.
Greater than the average C.
I want you to remember me.

Tired & Awake

Tired & Awake

By: Tyler Ross

Replacement,

abandoned from an early age,

you selectively gave, but took a lot.

I hate you.

You dished hypocrisy for breakfast,

lunch and dinner.

Dessert?

A sour glass of tears,

I traded for insecurities and fear.

Trying,

that action which seems easier some days

than the rest.

Mentally damaged 

when those I love or care for

choose someone or some thing over me.

Hang ups,

Fuck you!

I didn’t even shower today.

I barely ate and my mind won’t let up.

Please end this.

Its torture inside and the communication tower

is falling down.

No signal.

Are you really gonna start to love me 

when I’m not around?

Again, 

today I am down.

Feeling like wasted space.

To Live By

Nature shows us truth.
It doesn’t lie or try to be something it’s not. 
We get complete transparency. 
And there is a freeing sense that we never really have to question what we get.

- TNR