Peanut

Peanut

By: Tyler Ross

Let’s take a walk together 

instead of being on the screen.

Remember how much fun

we would have exploring everything.

Stomachs happily full of sushi,

hearts so warm with love.

A city stroll up into the Chalet.

a souvenir keeper view from above.

Tearing up together in many theaters,

some coffees to stay awake.

Late night McDonald’s nuggies runs

Uncontrollable laughter

after counting each fry we’d take.

Writing letters, poems 

and great gift giving extraordinaire‘s 

Swimming together in Mexico 

then both rocking beautiful curly hair.

Eggs, breakfast potatoes 

and avocado slices galore

Maybe we can get a waffle,

brioche French toast 

or hit up the neighborhood stores.

You put your arms around me,

I put my arms around you.

You say you love me,

I say I love you too.

Wake me up with your kisses,

cuddle for five more minutes, please.

Wake you up with kisses on the couch

let’s dream together 

after you’re done talking in your sleep.

Ice cream ventures, plant obsessions and vintage finds.

Max relax’n on beaches, Lourdes burritos

and La Banquise lines.

Lovely double dates with Sean & Les

family get togethers and more.

Hiking as much as possible

and always finding new places to explore. 

Leaving love notes behind,

dangling our feet over Echo Park Lake.

Slow dancing to “Blonde On Blonde,”

massagies to feel good and fix our aches. 

Facetiming for hours. 

Doing impressions and laughing til it hurts.

Being each other’s ultimate best friend.

Late nights at Aux Vivres for dessert. 

Smiling brightly across every table,

Hugging cows, loving animals 

and Gentle Barn feeding stables.

Açaí bowls at home or out and about

Wherever we go together 

is the greatest route.

Ugh, That Stabbing Pain

Ugh, That Stabbing Pain

by: Tyler Ross

So you said I love you to someone new.

And now the world just suddenly sped up

as my heart tries to stop 

and I immediately feel all shades of blue.

Colorless on the outside,

my saddened pigment comes through.

A flood of heat burns in my core

and empties my stomach,

there’s now vomit on the floor.

Broken to my knees,

heaving, it’s way too hot,

I need some breeze.

But now there’s too many locks on my door.

Stuck in between important life attachments

and suicide not wanting to be anymore.

One Wish

One Wish

by: Tyler Ross

A day hasn’t gone by

or many minutes 

where you haven’t been

living beautifully in my mind.

Wish I could hit rewind

and like Groundhog Day,

relive those summer months.

How did I let these times go by,

not showing you

that you were first

and most important

of all-time?

As maturity & growth are excavated

in self-purgatory

and self-awareness leads way 

to mostly glory

I’m still reminded of the shitty parts

to our story

where I wasn’t the best you deserved

and I’m sitting watching you live life 

without me is absurd.

I really hate this.

Why did I create this?

I took a separate shot at space and time

and really really missed.

Only I have myself to be so pissed.

I daydream all the time 

about the life we should be living.

I want to quit so many things

given the second chance and you forgiving.

I don’t even recognize 

that foolish soul many months ago.

I hate that you don’t even see me now,

because of what you now know.

Give me a genie lamp

and I’ll only need the one wish.

I’ll prove to you forever

you’re the one I’m in love with.

Sick Sense

Sick Sense

by: Tyler Ross

I used to overthink,

now I don’t even blink

or flinch,

really, when lessons learned 

come quick

and seem silly,

being tangled

in webs that don’t want you

to stick around.

So that head 

up in the clouds

is descending safely 

back to facing the ground.

Strugglingly discombobulated

by the perpetual sound

of people 

building you up

then letting you down.

Still longing to be 

first picked 

in a lovely, yet misleading town.

March 21st, 2022

Mar 21st, 2022

by: Tyler Ross

Eventually, 

the truest colors will beam bright, 

the clouds will part 

and the warmest feelings 

in your heart will spread 

its radiant light.

- late night note pad entry

Feed Flowers, Kill Weeds

Feed Flowers, Kill Weeds

By: Tyler Ross

Communication is at an all-time low.

Some would rather blow you off

then just say no.

Cold, and not just the temperature of actions.

Frigid fucking souls

showing true cards.

Can’t draw no satisfaction. 

We know information has been received.

Your lack of action will not achieve respect, 

but only solidify what we do next

and that is nothing.

Go ahead and keep fronting

with those hypocritical social media posts.

A person should be… communication is key… I’m sad when people… are you kidding me?

That’s you! More importantly.

No self-reflection.

Ego driven, never learning the lesson.

Too afraid to speak up.

Too selfish to drink what you pour in other cups.

Because we know you’re full of shit.

Treating people like you’re above it.

Pure greed.

Silence until attention hunger grows like a weed. 

Me, me, me, me.

“Society says, I owe you nothing” (eye roll)

Some truth to it, I’m told.

Blah. Blah. Blah. Okay, you’re free!

Back into the cold where you belong.

So long.

No longer contact me. 

Feed flowers, kill weeds.

Know the difference.

Trimming The Fat

Trimming The Fat

By: Tyler Ross

You’re too important 

but I don’t care to know

what your excuses are

because you already showed

your lack of respect

for my time.

So I’ll take that sign

And, boy I’ll let it shine.

Let it shine, oh, let it shine.

I won’t pine my mind,

or get lost in your kind.

I won’t teach you a lesson

because that aggression

only creates an obsession 

where I’m giving too much of me

and you’re too blind to see, no question.

The energy you stole

you can keep, it’s fine.

I can read between your lines.

But know I won’t be coming back.

There’s a word already for that.

A doormat.

Rubbed off, left behind discarded like trash.

I know better than that.

It’s real hard to think about anyone else

when you’re too caught up in yourself.

It sucks, but what I know is beyond wealth,

and will help me now take better care of myself.