20 Plus Years

20 Plus Years
By: Tyler Ross

I’m uncomfortable

at the constant

thought that I miss

my friends.

The only ones left,

they’re inside my head.

I once spoke to a woman

that told me

if someone doesn’t make

the effort

in return

after three tries,

to let up.  But I

never quite

understood,

because I cared so fucking much for
those I wanted close

kept getting so far

away.

I miss when my friends missed me. 
Wanted to see me. 
Life is lonely 
when efforts are made in sizable numbers, 
but the number 
in return 
formulated this hole 
into my heart. Fuck feeling 
the efforts I’ve employed 
return as I feel sad,
disappointment. I used to not care, 
but as I get older I care 
more to have my friends.